In Supplication to the Comma.

Dear Comma,

I would love for us to become friends.

The best of pals.

I’ll buy tea and scones for you.  I’ll treat you right.

If you could just cooperate and stop driving me insane, I’m sure we could come to some sort of honorably arrangement.

I know you don’t mean to make my life miserable.  I understand it’s my failing and not yours, but please…bugger off so my betas won’t yell at me.

Love,

A disgruntled and possibly deranged author.