First date advice from the Blackbird pack. I’d take the advice with a mighty large grain of salt and certainly at your own risk. =)
Elaine: Who’d be dim witted enough to listen to us?
How do you prepare for a first date?
Josh: Darren generally shaves his entire…
*loud sound of scuffling*
Josh: I was confused. Darren never shaves his entire body, my sincere apologies.
Darren: Wanker.
Gareth: They don’t get out much.
*more scuffling*
Steve: I generally lock the animals up before I go anywhere.
Gareth: Prat.
Steve: Alpha.
Elaine: Prat alpha?
Could we perhaps answer the question? How do you prepare for a first date?
Josh: We usually scrub Darren down and douse him with flea stuff before a date.
Darren: At least I have dates.
Lorcan: Sorry for the fools, lass. First dates are important, making a great first impression is critical to the second date. You have to be yourself. Smelling good is important as well.
Josh: See, that’s why we scrub the fox down.
Steve: I’m with the hare. You should always put your best foot forward.
Gareth: Which is why I always go on first dates for Steve.
Josh: Ouch.
Steve: Who kissed Ivy first?
Gareth: Bastard.
Maybe we should move on to another question. Who pays on the first date?
Steve: I do.
Elaine: Whoever issued the invite.
Gareth: Steve does.
Elaine: Cheap bastard.
How do you know the date is going well?
Gareth: I’m on it.
Lorcan: If my date asks for a second one before the first is even close to being over, I know I’ve done it right.
Josh: Darren knows the date is going well when Natasha tells him.
*Less scuffling, more banging and thumping*
Steve: The best sign your first date is going well is if your date moves closer to you as opposed to farther away.
What’s your favourite place to go on a first date?
Gareth: Jazz club.
Josh: Footie match.
Darren: Which is why you haven’t had a date in a year or more.
Elaine: Do online dates count?
All the men: No.
Elaine: Wankers.
And thus concludes another useful…or useless…session of advice from the Blackbird pack.
Have burning question you’d like to pose to the pack? Leave a comment with it and I’ll use it in the next advice blog.
