Blackbird Advice: Meeting The Family

Two wolves playing near forestThis week’s advice column is all about the dreaded ‘meeting of the parents.’ As always, I’d recommend taking the pack’s advice with a rather large dose of salt.  It might also be wise not to drink anything while reading. I’d hate for you to ruin your keyboard. =)

Elaine: or not taking the advice at all.

Darren: Speak for yourself, my advice is brilliant.

Elaine: Brilliantly daft.

Right. Shall we get back on track? How soon do you usually meet the parents?

Josh: Never.

Elaine: Poor, lonely little kitty.

Josh: I’ll wreck your blasted computer systems if you keep that up.

Elaine: Tosser.

*Sounds of someone being kicked in the shins…hard.*

Lorcan: I met the parents when I was in short trousers.  I was a handsome little bugger back then. Made it easy to charm them.

Gareth: Blood rabbit.  Are you sure we can’t turn him into stew?

Steve: Settle down you lot.  Does this always have to be a test on my patience?

Natasha: Da.

Gareth: Yes.

Let’s move on.  What’s the best way to make a good impression?

Gareth: Borrow Steve’s Aston martin.

Darren: And his credit card.

Lorcan: Or you could try just being yourself?

Elaine: Not those tossers.  Have you met them? That’s terrible advice for them.

Natasha: Parents will either appreciate who you are, or not, yes? So being yourself is the most straight-forward course of action.

Josh: Says the woman with a knife strapped to her boot.

Perhaps a knife isn’t the best way to win over anyone?  We’ll just leave that particular issue alone.  How do you prepare for meeting the parents?

Darren: All the blasted ale I can find.

Josh: What the fox said.

Gareth: Hard liquor.

Lorcan: I bring his mother a bouquet of wildflowers, and his father a pint or two of Guinness,  it tends to smooth any and all ruffled feathers.

Elaine: I don’t.

Josh: Poor, lonely kitty.

*sounds of snarling and chairs being knocked over.*
And I think that’s all we’re going to get out of them this week.

Have burning question you’d like to pose to the pack? Leave a comment with it  or contact me here and I’ll use it in the next advice blog.