Ten Things I wish…

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Neurotypicals (NTs) knew about Aspergers.

1. It’s not a disease. I don’t need or desire a cure. The only thing I could use is patience and understanding.

2. I experience emotions–I just don’t always understand them.  And I have trouble with subtle emotions.

3. Eye contact is awkward, confusing and uncomfortable.  I usually have to count down seconds in my head so I don’t ‘stare’ for too long.  I’ve learned the hard way if I stare too long people think I’m creepy, but if I don’t make eye contact, people think I’m ‘lying’ or ‘shady.’

4. Sounds, smells and sensations can be so overwhelming it feels like a physical assault.

5. Meltdowns are not temper tantrums.  Most Aspies experience meltdowns when they have reached a point of sensory overload.  It feels like your body is filled with electricity and energy that has nowhere to go.  It’s normally followed by exhaustion and a migraine.

6. Don’t step into my personal space. Just. Don’t.  Don’t assume I’m comfortable with physical contact be it a handshake or a hug.  I’m not trying to be rude.

7. I take almost everything literally.  If I don’t laugh at your joke, chances are I didn’t realize it was a joke.

8.  Winding me up on purpose might be fun for you.  But I’m the one left feeling worn out.

9.  Most Aspies are experience PTSD by the time they reach their late 30s and 40s.  It speaks to the level of intensity the world around us becomes.

10. Political and Religious conversations/debates tend to get heated which makes me incredibly uncomfortable and uneasy.

10a. The difficulties many aspies face in heated discussions is that often our minds go blank.  It’s akin to losing the ability to speak.  There are no words.  It’s frustrating…very…very frustrating.

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4 thoughts on “Ten Things I wish…

  1. Casey Sheridan January 12, 2015 / 10:28 am

    Very informative.
    I can relate to #3 and #6. Especially #6. Not because I’m an Aspie, but just because of my own past trauma. But I understand.
    May I ask when you were diagnosed, or told that you had Aspbergers? Since it’s a form (?) of Autism (is that correct?) is it something you’ve had all your life? I’m only asking because I’m curious. If you’re not comfortable answering I completely understand.

    • dahliadonovanauthor January 12, 2015 / 10:31 am

      Aspergers is a form of Autism. It’s something you’re born with. I like to describe it as, my brain is just wired a bit differently. It’s a difference on a neural level. I was diagnosed fairly late in life. I always knew I didn’t feel/see/experience things that same as the rest of my family, but didn’t really start looking until my husband and I started realizing our communication issues weren’t just normal things. We did research for a couple of years before hitting on Aspergers, then it took over a year of finding the right doctor to confirm it.

      • Casey Sheridan January 12, 2015 / 10:50 am

        Well, you’re brain is sort of wired differently, so that’s a good description. 🙂 Probably why I like you. 🙂

  2. darhineauthor January 13, 2015 / 9:29 am

    My daughter has severe dyslexia, dysgraphia, and dyscalculia. There are so many things I never about dyslexia until I had my daughter. What so many take for granted, reading a menu, writing a thank you note, a blog, holding a conversation, is all challenging for my daughter.

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