The hard part about being married to a neurotypical is sometimes my husband forgets that ‘simple’ things are incredibly stressful for me at times. And then he forgets that at times, I need to indulge in my hobbies/obsessions to rediscover my calm and let go of stress.
Relationships in general are about compromise I suppose, but even more so when you have someone on the autism spectrum and an NT involved.
Going out at night is a huge stress trigger for me, but my hubby really wanted to go out last night. I made the compromise of going out, knowing that today I’d like have what I like to call ‘Aspie headaches.’
Aspie headaches are what happen when I’ve experienced sensory overload of some sort or another, or gone out an been ‘social.’ I usually need a day to recover. I find watching a favourite TV show (The Tudors or As Time Goes By) helps with the process.
It’s simply one of those things I have to do to be in a relationship. I can’t always say ‘no, I don’t want to go out,’ because that isn’t fair to my husband. So, like most Aspies in the NT world, I work at finding ways to cope.