Dear Comma,
See, see what I did there?
I realize how necessary you are to making sense of the lengthy sentences and paragraphs we authors are prone to using. I understand the impact you can make on a simple statement, shifting the meaning from one thing to another.
I acknowledge the necessity of your existence.
But could you, for the love of all things holy, stop being such a bloody bastard while I’m editing?
Have mercy on me and my obvious lack of ability to use you correctly.
Love,
An author clearly driven to utter distraction.