Dear Sales & Religious People,
My doorbell works perfectly fine, you can tell it works fine when you press it.
Why then is it necessary for you to ring it then bang on my door repeatedly? Surely, you heard the doorbell when you pressed the bloody button. You didn’t even wait the obligatory minute before you knocked.
Ignoring the fact that there is a massive sign at the entrance to my subdivision which says no soliciting, not to mention the fact that I am not even pretending to be polite when I yank the door open.
Why for the love of all things that is holy do you need to bang on my bleeding door?
No love,
Cranky Author is Cranky
Author Dahlia Donovan 
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