Managing Expectations.

Replacements1There were two lessons I learned from my first marriage:

1. Some men are complete wankers, avoid them.

2. Expectations can only be met if they are shared.

One of the biggest fall downs in a relationship, many times, can be the fact that one has expectations that the other is not aware of.  Expectations are a dangerous thing to begin with.  We often set ourselves up for failure with unrealistic ones.   Or we become angry with our partners for not falling in line with what we believed they would.

My current husband and I spent a lot of time before getting married talking about expectations.

When I get upset with him for not doing something, I’ve learned to first ask myself if he was aware I expected him to do it.  We often joke with each other that we’re not mind readers.  And given that as an Autistic, my brain works differently, it’s usually impossible for either of us to infer what the other is thinking.

How do you deal with expectations in a relationship?