Relationship red flags have always been a hard one for me to spot. As an autistic, I have frequently struggled to get a good read on people. The older I get, the better at it. I become through a very painful process of trial and error.
I thought I’d share some of my hard-earned lessons with you.
- Anyone who gets enjoyment out of your embarrassment or humiliation. Nope. Big red flag for me, particularly when it’s clear that you aren’t laughing along.
- They try to separate you from your friends/family. Anyone trying to isolate you is a big massive RED flag. Run, don’t walk.
- Physical or verbal intimidation. If they rely on scaring you or intimidating you into doing what they want, another warning sign. Don’t pass go, don’t collect $200.00, just go.
- Lies. Everyone tells little white lies, but if you’re with someone who lies about the big things all the time. Nope. Sorry. Not a good sign.
- Immaturity. Now, I don’t mind moments of childish enjoyment and silliness. But if someone is emotionally immature, it can be a red flag.
They are so many more. These are just ones I have personal experience with. It goes without saying if a partner is physically, verbally, emotionally, or in any other way abusive. That’s more than a red flag.
I thought I’d share the shows I’m currently binge watching on either Netflix or Amazon Prime. They’re in no particular order.
- Skin Wars
- Bake Off
- Mock the Week
- Lords & Ladles
- Cold Justice
- Nailed It
- Court Justice
- An Hour To Save Your Life
- Salt Fat Acid Heat
What about you? What are you binge watching this week/month? Do you binge watch at all?
on YouTube that is.
As part of my morning routine during the week, I have breakfast and coffee at my desk while catching up on the YouTube channels that I’m subscribed to. I thought I’d share the ten of the ones I’m checking out at the moment.
In no particular order, of course.
1. Life in the Cottage
2. Lollipop Box Club
3. A Beautiful Fable (She actually has three channels.)
5. Home Free
7. Big Gay Fiction Podcast
8. The Paper Letter Blog
9. Neurodivergent Rebel
10. Chloe’s Thoughts
There’s more of course. I follow quite a few autistic, planner, and/or video game vloggers as well.
Are you subscribed to any YouTube channels?
My special interests can be broken into several categories: collections, games, TV/movies, books.
And hobbies, but hobbies are the special interest that changes most.
Now, I will admit I have a love/hate relationship with the phrasing ‘special interest.’ It sounds patronising to me, and I know I’m not the only autistic who feels that way. But, I haven’t heard or come up with a better word for my autistic obsessions.
Hobbies I’ve tried and abandoned: knitting, chainmail, and many others. Most crafts wind up being more flash in the pan than a lifelong special interest.
Collections: mugs and notebooks mostly.
Video Games: Mass Effect trilogy, Dragon Age series, Watchdogs 1 & 2, Deus Ex, Assassin’s Creed.
Books: this is another one that varies. I tend to switch genres a lot. Currently? Cosy mysteries are my reading obsession.
Movies: a few, but the ones I rewatch obsessively when stressed out tend to be Jane Austen adaptations.
TV Shows: As Time Goes By, Bake Off, True Crime shows (like on ID network), so many shows, honestly.
If 2018 had a word for me, it would be unbalanced. At least, that’s how the last six months of the year have gone. You know when you set goals/deadlines for yourself, and things start to pile up? And then it’s like a snowball rolling downhill, and you’re the target?
That was me.
So, for obvious reasons, my goal for 2019 is ‘balance’.
Balance in writing. Balance in my personal life. All about balance.
(How many times can I use the word balance in one post?)
My plan is to tackle this issue in a few ways.
I don’t know about other authors, but I struggle with all recommendations for ‘how an author should author.’ All those ‘experts’ who have the latest greatest advice. I think you have to be careful not to fall down every single rabbit hole with them.
And it is SO hard not to.
There’s always the latest greats ‘everyone is signing up for it’ new social media app or site. Mewe anyone?
Here’s the truth we never want to accept. You can’t be on EVERY single site. You can’t follow every piece of advice. You can’t be all things to all people (I think Lincoln said that.)
You just can’t.
There’s only so much of my brain power I can give.
I’m autistic, balance is crucial for me. If I push myself too far, I shut down. It’s horrible for my health to continue pushing and pushing.
That was 2018 for me.
All about that bass…I mean balance.
What’s your word for 2019?
It’s been a hell of a year, but I thought I’d share a few things that made me happy in 2018.
- Nailed It! on Netflix. Best cooking show. Ever. EVER.
- New Amsterdam
- JetPens (a new shop I discovered, it’s not new, but new to me)
- Finishing WIPs
- Winter Olympics (Adam Rippon and Chloe Kim in particular)
- Sara Bareilles new song Armor
- Assassin’s Creed Odyessy
What are some of the things you loved in 2018?
Video games have always been one of my favourite ways to relax. I tend to become obsessively involved in a game until I’ve completed the story. Often, if it’s an RPG (Role Playing Game), I’ll play through multiple times to explore every aspect, and decision my character can make within the game.
I’ve played many Ubisoft games. I particularly enjoy both their Watch Dogs and Assassin’s Creed series.
Assassin’s Creed Odyssey is their latest release, and I’ve played it constantly since the early release came out at the beginning of October.
It’s a stunningly beautiful game.
I’ve completed the main campaign, playing as Kassandra. I’ll likely do it for a second time as her brother Alexios.
The intrigue, the gameplay, all the side quests, and the massive map.
It’s the Assassin’s Creed I’ve always wanted to play. I’ve played and enjoyed AC III, Black Flag, Rogue, Syndicate, and Origins. None of them perfect. Odyssey for me is right at the top, with Origins a close second. They’ve progressed with both the gameplay and the character interaction.
Is it perfect? Definitely not.
But I’m immensely enjoying playing in a way I haven’t in a while.