I made the mistake of asking the pack for romance tips for wooing one’s mate. Here’s the mayhem that ensued:
How do you go about winning your mate?
Gareth: Smile, a lot, unless you’re Steve, then it’s bloody unnatural.
Darren: Make her laugh.
Natasha: Grab him by the balls, I find it makes things process along quickly.
Darren: It really does.
Josh: There is something seriously wrong with the two of you. Unnatural. I’d ignore them. If you want to win your mate, you have to figure out all of their guilty pleasures and ply them with it.
Darren: Says the bloke with no mate.
Elaine: You’re both useless prats.
Steve: Settle down.
Darren: All right then, you old bastard, how did you woo your mate?
Gareth: I think Ivy wooed us.
Elaine: Bloody waste of time.
(pause for momentary scuffling and knocking over of chairs.)
What’s the best part about having a mate?
Darren: She terrifies the lads.
Natasha: He looks good in leather.
Josh: Did I mention un-bloody-natural?
Elaine: The best part about not having one is I don’t have to listen to anyone whinging about the amount of time I spend online.
Josh: I weep for you.
Gareth: The best part about having a mate is I can use her as a buffer for Steve’s snoring.
Gareth: Is Ivy going to see this? If so, on second thought, the best part about having Ivy is…just having Ivy. She’s brilliant.
Steve: Maybe next time you should just interview me?
Not sure how helpful that was but, there you go. The Blackbird Pack on mating.
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