Fear and Journalling.

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If we’re honest with ourselves, there have been moments of anxiety and fear over the past few weeks. It’s easy in the midst of isolation to bottle everything up inside. And even if we don’t want to burden our friends/family, keeping it all internal isn’t healthy.

I haven’t written in a journal/diary in ages. In my teens and early twenties, I actually kept up with a journal a fair bit. For some unknown reason, it fell away in my thirties and now forties.

A few weeks ago, I saw a tweet from a historian who talked about how we should be writing down our experiences through this pandemic. I can’t find the tweet now, unfortunately. But it stuck in my mind.

I thought about all the personal accounts of other historical events I’ve read. They seemed to take on a suddenly deeper meaning. I can better understand why those people took pen to paper.

Sharing their thoughts must’ve been so cathartic in terrifying times when so much was out of their control.

It’s basically where we are now. Aside from keeping up with social distancing and other recommendations, there’s little control we have over this pandemic. And even the most zen of my friends is experiencing stress, anxiety, and fear.

I’m an author.

I deal in fiction.

Writing the truth of my thoughts seemed much more intimidating at first.

I’m a few days into my journalling. It’s provided an amazing outlet for the unease I’m feeling. Putting everything down on paper has offered some relief.

And somehow, a physical journal is definitely better than an online one.

I’ve been both pouring out my thoughts on paper but also jotting down what’s happening in my area and the things I’ve seen.

It’ll be interesting to look back in a few months or even years to read through my own personal history of this pandemic.

How about you?

How are you processing everything right now?

A Desk By Any Other Name

I’ve wanted to do a post like this for a while. It’s just a silly post about the contents of my desk drawer (and nightstand.)

So, this is my desk drawer. It’s mostly organized. I clean it out every couple of months because it starts to irritate me.

Nothing earth-shattering. Two little baskets with post-notes, ink refills, and stapler refills, even though I never use my stapler.

Stapler. (Anyone else say that in the same voice as the guy from Office Space? Just me?)

Stamps, international and regular. They’re covering up address labels and a checkbook because…no one needs that information.

KODAK Digital Still Camera

Now, technically, this isn’t my desk drawer. This is my nightstrand drawer but most of the things on the right should be in my desk drawer. I often write/work in bed so I keep some of my supplies in my nightstand.

The silver case has some of my pens (Should I do a blog post about my massive pen collection?) The blue folder has post-notes and a notepad. It’s from Cocoa Daisy. Then there’s a collection of drawing/sketch pads, a postcard notebook, and other random nonsense.

Oh! And there’s a sewing kit I’ve owned for twenty years and NEVER USED ONCE.

KODAK Digital Still Camera

This inspired a vlog for my patrons so if you’re interested check that out here:

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So, what’s in your desk drawer?

An Ode to my Journals

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Dearest of My Dear Journals,

Our love is sacred, pure and timeless. Never be jealous of the hundreds of other notebooks and journals floating around my office, even if I might have an entire shelf dedicated to the altar of lined paper. They could never hold a candle to you.

I have held you close for over twenty years. We’ll ignore the tragic fact that you’ve been buried at the bottom of a drawer for the past fifteen years. It might also be wise to forget I used you to press flowers. A little rose petal never hurt anyone, right?

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And now dearest love, I shall shove you back in your drawer to forget you for another ten years.

Love,

Anyone else keep old notebooks around? The photos here are from a journal I’ve had since I was eighteen. I was a little melodramatic at the time. Some of the reading is …amusingly over the top.