Your Mother Smelled of Elderberry.

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I thought it might be fun to share a few of the TV shows/movies that have inspired various stories I’ve written.

1. Lucifer – Here Comes The Son

2. Father Brown (and like ten other cosy mystery type TV shows) – Grasmere Cottage Mystery Trilogy

3. Antique’s Roadshow – After the Scrum

4. NCIS – The Lion Tamer

5. Forged in Fire – Forged in Flood

6. The Great British Bake Off – The Royal Marine

7. Strike Back – Ivy

8. Monty Python – The Wanderer

9. Travel Shows – Pure Dumb Luck

10. Strike Back & The Unit – The Botanist

Red Flags.

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Relationship red flags have always been a hard one for me to spot. As an autistic, I have frequently struggled to get a good read on people. The older I get, the better at it. I become through a very painful process of trial and error.

I thought I’d share some of my hard-earned lessons with you.

  1. Anyone who gets enjoyment out of your embarrassment or humiliation. Nope. Big red flag for me, particularly when it’s clear that you aren’t laughing along.
  2. They try to separate you from your friends/family. Anyone trying to isolate you is a big massive RED flag. Run, don’t walk.
  3. Physical or verbal intimidation. If they rely on scaring you or intimidating you into doing what they want, another warning sign. Don’t pass go, don’t collect $200.00, just go.
  4. Lies. Everyone tells little white lies, but if you’re with someone who lies about the big things all the time. Nope. Sorry. Not a good sign.
  5. Immaturity. Now, I don’t mind moments of childish enjoyment and silliness. But if someone is emotionally immature, it can be a red flag.

They are so many more. These are just ones I have personal experience with. It goes without saying if a partner is physically, verbally, emotionally, or in any other way abusive. That’s more than a red flag.

A Desk By Any Other Name

I’ve wanted to do a post like this for a while. It’s just a silly post about the contents of my desk drawer (and nightstand.)

So, this is my desk drawer. It’s mostly organized. I clean it out every couple of months because it starts to irritate me.

Nothing earth-shattering. Two little baskets with post-notes, ink refills, and stapler refills, even though I never use my stapler.

Stapler. (Anyone else say that in the same voice as the guy from Office Space? Just me?)

Stamps, international and regular. They’re covering up address labels and a checkbook because…no one needs that information.

KODAK Digital Still Camera

Now, technically, this isn’t my desk drawer. This is my nightstrand drawer but most of the things on the right should be in my desk drawer.  I often write/work in bed so I keep some of my supplies in my nightstand.

The silver case has some of my pens (Should I do a blog post about my massive pen collection?) The blue folder has post-notes and a notepad. It’s from Cocoa Daisy. Then there’s a collection of drawing/sketch pads, a postcard notebook, and other random nonsense.

Oh! And there’s a sewing kit I’ve owned for twenty years and NEVER USED ONCE.

KODAK Digital Still Camera

 

This inspired a vlog for my patrons so if you’re interested check that out here:

My Patreon

So, what’s in your desk drawer?

An Open Letter To Myself

….well, a letter to twenty-year-old me.

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Dear Self,

First, you’re going to be okay. Divorce is scary, but it’s not the end of the world.

Second, you’re autistic. I know you think you have some terminal illness because you get so tired after being around people. It’s okay. You’re autistic. And you’re going to be so relieved when you find out.

Third, you will fall in love again.

Fourth, the divorce was about him…not you. He’s been divorced three more times since you.

Fifth, you’re brilliant. And you can write. You just have to believe enough in yourself to try.

Now, stop crying into the ice cream.

He’s not worth it.

You’re going to be fine.

Love,

Me

 

Own Your Shit. Dump The Rest.

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The gif has nothing to do with this post aside from the fact that I’m writing it on a Thursday morning when not even coffee is enough to get my brain in gear.

So, buckle up.

The other day I was playing a video game. It’s a multiplayer game. Now, I turn off the open chat because I’ve no interest in listening to the misogynistic nonsense that is prevalent in the gaming world.

While standing around waiting for an in-game event to start, another gamer began harassing my character.

This is how it started.

My character is literally just standing still playing a lute. (It’s a game emote you can do to kill time.) My character is female. Another gamer comes over and begins trying to engage me.

He swings his weapon at my character.

I keep playing my lute.

He gets tired of being annoyed, so he runs over toward a group of enemies nearby and uses one of his powers to drag the enemy over to my character which forces me to engage with the creature to avoid being killed.

I kill the enemy then go back to playing the lute.

This happened four times.

And I’m starting to get pissed off. Why does this always happen? I just want to play my lute and wait for the in-game event. Being pissed off causes me to also be stressed out, which is terrible for my blood pressure issues.

And that’s when it hits me.

You know, this jackass is just doing this to get a reaction.

So, I leave.

Own your shit. I can only control myself. No matter how annoyed another person makes me, I can’t force them to change. So? Controlling my shit means leaving an area to find somewhere else to play. It’s a massive game, I easily found another event without the annoying asshole.

And that’s the dump the rest part.

That dickhead? Not my responsibility. I shook off my annoyance and continued to enjoy the game.

Why should I let a perfect stranger ruin my enjoyment?

I owned my shit. And dumped the rest.

Can you relate?